Welcome to the website of HENRY NORMAL

Hello, I’ve been posting information on Facebook for the last two years and have finally got round to organising a website. The site contains much of the same information and material as my Facebook site but I’m aware not everyone does Facebook and that the information there is often hard to access other than by labouriously scrolling down. The information here is far better organised and more extensive.

There’s a contact page if you’d like to email me. Do let me know your thoughts on the site and any suggestions.

1 day ago

Henry Normal

There's no money in poetry,
but then there's no poetry in money either - Robert Graves


There's no big bucks in poetry books
No budgetary boom with a slim volume

The general rule is -
no Spondoolis

No career's crueller
for lack of moolah

The weight of the wampum will underwhelm
Royalties appear only in the quantum realm

The financial projection for a new collection
will hardly evoke an instant erection

Fat cats and poesy
don't sit that cosy

The gist of it -
you make jack shit

You'll e'er be near John Clare
far from Lord Byron or a billionaire

Yes to tender words - but no legal tender
It's less Johnny Cash more Stephen Spender

To expect literary lolly is fruitless folly
even with off rhymes you're off your trolley

Folding green and photos of the queen
in wordsmiths' wallets such wads are seldom seen

It's not the racket to pocket a packet
or put a pretty penny in your poet's purse
Being a bard - banking is hard
There's no blank cheque for blank verse

no bread and jam in an epigram
no chunk of change in a clerihew
A magnum opus is monetarily hopeless
Revenue due for a new haiku is barely a bob or two

You'll not get rich quick with a limerick
not pack a bundle off the back of a rondel
not cement a cent coining a lament
To earn a load from an ode is seldom a la mode

Lidl won't take an idyll
To a tanka - they'll say 'no thankya'
A traditional ballad is also invalid

A rondeau will raise no dough
An epic or lyric - zip zilch zero

However clever your elegy
it'll never a big seller be
you'll ever be the feller with 50p

Each villanelle's a bagatelle
Hell, they just don't sell that well

Savings from a sonnet ?
don't bank on it

Ain't no gold in them thar hills
apart from golden daffodils

Uttering metaphor
is better for
putting the fun into insufficient funds

the wherewithal
to make a withdrawal
is more often moribund

The lure of loads of lucre
you may as well bazooka

Not wishing to come on tactless
poets pursuing profit should pack it in
you'll make sod all contactless
and even less chip and pin

No matter how moving or funny
you'll forever
be financially unsound

Your name will never
be synonymous with money
unless you're Ezra Pound
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7 days ago

Henry Normal


This Thursday Phoenix Art Space, Brighton I will be talking to one of my favourite people on Earth. IT WILL BE FUN - OR YOUR MONEY BACK.
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